Stressed, Overthinking and Mentally Exhausted? CBT Might Be Worth Exploring

There are days when I can tell I am stressed, but I do not always realize how much my own thoughts are adding to it. I might be going through a completely normal day, but then my mind starts replaying a conversation, worrying about something that has not happened yet, thinking about everything I still need to get done or imagining all the ways something could go wrong. Before I know it, I feel mentally exhausted.

If you are an overthinker, you probably know exactly what I mean.

Sometimes I can tell myself to relax, but that does not mean my brain is going to cooperate. It is almost like my mind thinks it is doing me a favor by constantly analyzing everything. The problem is that there is a difference between thinking something through and thinking about the same thing over and over without getting anywhere.

That is one of the reasons I became interested in cognitive behavioral therapy, or CBT.

I am not a mental health expert or therapist. I have simply become very interested in learning more about stress, overthinking, the nervous system and the different ways people can get support when their thoughts start becoming overwhelming. The more I learned about CBT, the more I understood why the way we interpret situations can have such a big effect on how we feel and behave.

And I think this is particularly interesting when you are someone who tends to live inside your own head.

Stress Is Not Always About What Is Happening

When I used to think about stress, I mostly thought about what was happening around me. Work, responsibilities, money, relationships, deadlines and everyday problems can all be stressful. But there is another part of stress that I find really interesting. It is the story we tell ourselves about what is happening.

Imagine you receive a message from someone that simply says, “Can we talk?” One person might read it and think, “Sure, I wonder what they want.” Another person might immediately think, “Oh no. What did I do?” The situation is exactly the same. The difference is what happens in the person's mind after seeing the message.

That is one of the basic ideas behind CBT. CBT looks at the relationship between our thoughts, feelings and behaviors and helps us become more aware of patterns that may not be helping us.

It is not about forcing yourself to think positively all the time. I do not find that particularly helpful. If I am worried about something, telling myself that everything is perfect when I do not believe it is probably not going to make the worry disappear. I would rather ask myself, “Is there another way I could look at this?” That feels much more realistic.

What Does CBT Have to Do With Overthinking?

This is where CBT really caught my attention. Overthinking can feel like problem solving. You convince yourself that if you think about something enough, you will eventually find the perfect answer. But sometimes there is no answer to find. You are simply going around the same thought again and again.

What if I said the wrong thing? What if they are upset with me? What if something goes wrong? What if I should have handled it differently? What if I make the wrong decision? The questions can keep coming. And the more you think about them, the more real the imagined scenario can start to feel. CBT can help you slow this process down by looking at the thought itself instead of automatically accepting it as a fact.

For example, imagine you apply for a job and do not hear back. The fact is simply that you have not received a response yet. But an overthinking brain might turn that into, “Nobody wants to hire me. I am never going to get another job. Maybe I am not good enough.” Now we have gone from one fact to an entire story. This is where it can be helpful to ask yourself a few questions.

What evidence do I have that this thought is true? What evidence do I have that it is not true? Am I assuming I know what someone else is thinking? Am I jumping to the worst possible outcome? Is there another explanation? One of my favorite questions is, “What would I say to a friend if she were thinking this?” Because sometimes we are much kinder and more reasonable with other people than we are with ourselves.

A Simple CBT Exercise You Can Try

One way to understand CBT is to take one thought and slow it down. Let's say the thought is, “I am falling behind in life.” Instead of immediately trying to convince yourself that you are not, write down what happened before that thought appeared.

Maybe you saw someone online announcing a promotion. Maybe someone you know bought a house. Maybe you compared your life to someone else's. Maybe you had a difficult day at work.

Then ask yourself what emotion came up. Was it anxiety? Sadness? Frustration? Jealousy? Disappointment? Now look at the thought itself. “I am falling behind in life.” Is that a fact, or is it an interpretation of what is happening? There is a difference.

You can then try creating a more balanced thought, such as, “I may not be where I expected to be right now, but that does not mean I am failing. I can still work toward the things that matter to me.” I like this approach because it does not require you to pretend everything is wonderful.

It simply gives you another perspective.

What Stress Can Feel Like in Your Body

One thing I have become much more aware of is that stress is not just something that happens in your head.

You can feel it physically too.

You might notice that your shoulders are constantly tense, your breathing feels different, you have trouble relaxing, your stomach feels unsettled or you feel restless even when nothing particularly stressful is happening in that exact moment.

Research has shown that psychological stress can affect multiple systems throughout the body. This is one reason I think it is useful to look at stress from more than one angle.

For me, CBT and nervous system regulation are interesting because they approach the problem from different directions.

CBT can help you examine the thoughts and interpretations that may be keeping you stuck, while calming practices such as breathing exercises, movement, relaxation and other nervous system regulation techniques can help you slow down physically.

I wrote another article about this called Nervous System Regulation Techniques for Those “I Can't Switch Off” Days, especially for those days when your brain and body seem to have forgotten how to relax.

CBT Is Not About Never Having Negative Thoughts

This is something I think is important to understand. The goal of CBT is not to become a person who never worries. You are still going to have difficult thoughts. You are still going to have bad days.

You are still going to worry about things sometimes. The difference is learning that you do not have to automatically believe every thought that enters your mind. Instead of thinking, “This is going to be a disaster,” you can ask yourself, “Do I know that for certain?” Instead of thinking, “I always mess things up,” you can ask, “Always?”

Instead of thinking, “They probably think I am stupid,” you can ask, “Do I have evidence that they think that?” The thought may still be there, but you have created some distance between yourself and the thought.

And I think that little bit of distance can be powerful.

What If You Are Stressed Because of Something Real?

This is another reason I like the idea of balanced thinking rather than simply positive thinking. Sometimes the stressful thing is real. You might genuinely have a difficult situation at work. You might be dealing with relationship problems. You might have financial pressure. You might be waiting for important news.

CBT does not mean pretending that those problems do not exist. Instead, it can help you separate the problem itself from the extra thoughts you may be adding to it. For example, if you are waiting for an important email, the situation is that you are waiting.

The extra thoughts might be, “They definitely rejected me,” “Something must have gone wrong,” “This always happens to me” or “My whole future depends on this.” Those thoughts can create additional stress without giving you any additional control over the situation.

Sometimes the most helpful question is simply, “What is within my control right now?” That brings you back to the present instead of letting your mind spend hours trying to solve something that has not happened yet.

Can You Practice CBT on Your Own?

There are CBT based exercises and self help resources that people can use on their own. However, there is a difference between learning about CBT and receiving CBT from a qualified mental health professional.

If stress, anxiety or overthinking are becoming difficult to manage, working with a therapist can give you personalized support rather than having to figure everything out by yourself. This is one reason I wanted to include online therapy in this article.

I know that therapy can feel intimidating for some people. You might have a busy schedule, feel uncomfortable sitting in a therapist's office or simply prefer the privacy of talking to someone from home. Online therapy can be another way to access professional support.

One option I have been looking into is Online-Therapy.com. The platform is built around CBT and includes therapist support, worksheets, journaling, messaging and live therapy sessions depending on the plan you choose. Their live sessions can be done through video, voice or messaging, which gives people some flexibility in how they communicate with their therapist.

I am sharing this because CBT fits so naturally into the conversation around stress and overthinking. If you decide to check out Online-Therapy.com through my link, I may receive a commission at no additional cost to you. This is an affiliate link, and I only share resources that are relevant to the topics I talk about here.

You can explore Online-Therapy.com here if you want to learn more.

What I Would Take Away From CBT

If I had to simplify what I find most useful about CBT, it would be this: A thought is not automatically a fact. That sounds simple, but when you are stressed, thoughts can feel incredibly convincing. Your brain can take one small uncertainty and turn it into an entire story.

You send an email and do not get a response, and suddenly you are imagining everything that could have gone wrong. Someone's tone changes, and you start wondering whether they are angry with you. You make one mistake, and your brain starts telling you that you are terrible at everything. CBT gives you a way to slow that process down.

You can notice the thought. You can question it. You can look at the evidence. You can consider another explanation. Then you can decide what you want to do next. That does not mean the original problem disappears. It simply means you are not giving every thought complete control over how you feel.

A Little Journal Exercise for Your Next Overthinking Session

The next time you catch yourself going around and around with the same thought, try putting it on paper.

Write down what happened and then write the first thought that came into your mind. Notice how that thought made you feel. Then ask yourself what evidence supports the thought and what evidence does not support it.

Ask yourself whether you are assuming something you cannot actually know. Ask whether you are predicting the future. Ask whether you are looking at the situation in an all or nothing way. Then ask yourself one final question.

“What would I say to a friend who was going through the same thing?” You may find that your answer is much more compassionate and realistic than the way you were talking to yourself. And that is something worth paying attention to.

I Made a Free Journal for Stressful Days

If stress and overthinking have been taking up too much space in your head lately, I created a free Surviving the Stress Journal Printable to help you work through overwhelming thoughts, identify what may be triggering your stress and create a little more calm in your day.

You can download it, print it out and use it whenever your mind feels like it has too much going on at once.

Sometimes you do not need another complicated routine. Sometimes you just need somewhere to put everything that is running around in your head.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is CBT?

CBT stands for cognitive behavioral therapy. It is a form of psychotherapy that focuses on the relationship between thoughts, emotions and behaviors. It can help people identify unhelpful patterns and learn different ways of responding to difficult situations.

Can CBT help with stress?

CBT can help people manage stress by helping them recognize unhelpful thought patterns and develop more balanced ways of responding to stressful situations. CBT is also widely used for several mental health concerns where stress and difficult thinking patterns can play a role.

Can CBT help with overthinking?

CBT can help you become more aware of patterns such as catastrophizing, jumping to conclusions and assuming you know what another person is thinking. Instead of trying to eliminate every thought, the goal is to learn how to respond to thoughts differently.

Can I practice CBT on my own?

Some CBT based exercises can be practiced independently through structured self help resources. However, self help is different from working with a qualified therapist. If your symptoms are persistent, severe or interfering with your everyday life, professional support may be appropriate.

Is CBT the same as positive thinking?

No. CBT is not about pretending everything is fine or forcing yourself to think positively. It is about examining your thoughts, considering the evidence and developing more balanced and realistic ways of looking at situations.

How does online therapy work?

Online therapy allows you to communicate with a therapist through an online platform. Depending on the service and plan, this may include messaging, worksheets, journaling and live sessions through video, voice or text. Online-Therapy.com states that its program is based on CBT and offers therapist support alongside structured CBT tools.

Is online therapy the same as seeing a therapist in person?

Online therapy provides therapy through an online platform rather than requiring you to attend a physical office. Whether it is the right option depends on your individual circumstances, preferences and mental health needs.

How do I know if I should talk to a therapist?

If stress, anxiety, overthinking or emotional difficulties are interfering with your daily life, relationships, work or ability to function, it may be worth talking with a qualified mental health professional. You do not have to wait until things become unbearable before asking for support.

My Disclaimer

I am not a mental health expert, therapist or medical professional. I am sharing what I have learned from researching stress, overthinking and CBT and what has helped me think about these topics differently. This article is for general educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, diagnosis or treatment.

If you are struggling with your mental health or feel that stress is becoming difficult to manage, please speak with a qualified mental health professional.

If you are experiencing a mental health emergency or feel that you may harm yourself or someone else, seek immediate professional or emergency support in your area.

Research and Further Reading

If you want to go deeper than my personal experience, these are some places I recommend exploring.

The American Psychological Association provides information and resources about psychotherapy, mental health and evidence based psychological treatments.

The National Institute of Mental Health provides information about psychotherapy and different approaches to mental health treatment.

The Beck Institute is a useful resource for learning more about cognitive behavioral therapy and the work associated with CBT.

Harvard Health Publishing has accessible information about stress and how psychological stress can affect the body.

The National Center for Complementary and Integrative Health also provides information about stress and approaches such as relaxation techniques.

You can also search the PubMed research database for peer reviewed research on CBT, stress, anxiety, overthinking and related topics.

On The Last Lap

I do not think the goal is to become someone who never overthinks, never worries or never gets stressed. That would be unrealistic. Life is going to give us things to think about. There will be difficult conversations, uncertain situations, disappointing days and moments when our minds run a little too far ahead.

For me, the more useful goal is learning to notice when my thoughts are taking me somewhere I do not need to go, pause for a moment and ask myself whether the thought is helping me or simply making me more stressed.

Sometimes I can change the thought. Sometimes I can take action. Sometimes there is nothing I can do except let the situation unfold.And sometimes I just need to remind myself that I do not have to solve everything in my head tonight.

That, to me, feels like a much more realistic way of creating a little more peace.